meaning

I went upstairs tonight to help put K-squared to bed - albeit, after N did the hard stuff, and after hearing "NO! AAAAAAUGHHHHHHH!" Apparently K1 felt it necessary to scrub the toothpaste residue out of the sink with his toothbrush. So I get upstairs in time to see K1 dragging one foot while hopping on the other to his room, and K2, wearing only a rainbow color pair of "big girl" panties clutching her two favorite blankets and running around yelling "I found them, I found them", when the reality is N found them (in my closet) with several stuffed animals and who knows what else and simply put them where they belong - but K2 found them, and was overjoyed. And N isn't smiling, but I am and here's why: this is a perfect moment. One that I will remember fondly for years to come - one where I see my children as both the innocents they are and the adults they will become, and am equally proud of both. It's a moment where I wish I had the damn camera, but really don't need it because the scene is so indelibly etched in my mind - a snapshot if you will of the good times. It's a worry suspending moment where I can forget the pitfalls that will come for these two beautiful urchins and can appreciate just how much fun they are and how bright the world seems for them. My world is brighter because of them. Today was a good day.

umm...

Believe it or not I've actually been getting bugged about posting again - shocker! Here's the thing - I've thought about it, and have drafts saved, but I just can't seem to finish a thought. I'm plugged up. They say to clear up writers block you have to keep writing, so here goes - cathartic stream of consciousness.
Spring is here, which in Colorado means snow, apparently. N hates it, but I'm breathing a sigh of relief because that means I can put off fixing the sprinklers which we had to shut off last July. The yard died, and again, N hates it. Additionally, I can put off picking up after the dogs - two enthusiastic thumbs up!
The job is going quite well - although since we have volunteers we can't use pneumatic tools which means we're hammering fools - and my arm gets tired - so I found a way to fix that and my cool tool jones at the same time - a Stiletto "Muscle Head" 16oz titanium framing hammer - retail price $106 - I know for a hammer, right? Titanium head, hickory shaft - all the weight in the head means a smaller hammer can drive nails just as well as the big boys and save an arm too - and again, N hates it.
I have to stop here and add that N doesn't actually hate anything I've written about so far, except for the snow, and the yard dying, and buying a 100 dollar hammer.
The start of ultimate season for me will be delayed until June since Sports Monster can't figure their crap out - which means I'll be home every Thursday night instead of hucking and running and sweating out whatever angst builds up over the duration of my procrastination. Poor N - doesn't seem to be looking up for her.
Murphy has gas, and a skin condition which compels him to lick himself continuously - we all hate it.
Gas has risen to prices we've never seen, and here we have two SUVs - hate.
We keep getting gifts for the kids from my deadbeat parents that are either addressed to K1 and Skyler (not K2s name), or they're for kids much younger than ours, or they're just crap - hate, hate, hate.
So with all the hating going on it's easy to lose sight of what we love - we love each other , first of all. We love our family - in-laws, surrogates, Martha Stewart aunts and gun-nut uncles. We love our home. I love my hammer. We even love Murphy, although I can't figure out why. We're better off than (what's the statistic?) 95% of the rest of the people on the planet. We can vote - although in this election what's the point? Really. We have damn good friends. We love The Office, and the fact that we when we watch it we forget about everything else - even the dogs outside in the rain. My job is awesome. N is awesome with her work, and just about everything else she does, and she can work from home (extremely fortunate in that respect). We truly are living the dream. Why is it sometimes we just want to wake up? Anyone?
My DVR froze up again - hate.

inHABIThAT

I recently took a position with Habitat for Humanity, and I have to say that it is the coolest job on the planet! It combines the best aspects of construction (skilled craftsmanship, manly tools, working outside) and the best aspects of the non-profit world (helping others to better themselves, sustainibilty, job satisfaction), and it attracts quality people in the process - people who give of themselves for no other reason than it's right to do so - people who aren't simply collecting a paycheck - people who may be at a disadvantage but who have the integrity to not simply put their hand out for what they think they are entitled to, but rather agree to give considerable time and effort to the task of bettering their lives, and the lives of those in similar circumstances (after their required "sweat equity" is completed, home owners often continue to volunteer with Habitat).
A month ago I was doing commercial construction for a company that put profit above all else, and while it allowed for increased responsibility and career growth, I was completely miserable. Now I work for a company that puts meeting people's needs above all else, and while it also allows for increased responsibility and career growth, it fosters empathy and personal growth and I can't imagine wanting to do anything else. It's neat to build a house. It's fun to use power tools. It's great working with men and women who aren't convicted felons, and don't cuss every second word or blow cigarette smoke in your face, and who really care about what's going on in their world - enough to give of their time or even pass on the promise of greater riches to shovel dirt or drive nails or haul concrete. It's humbling to see a person work their butt off to build their own home and in turn regain their sense of pride, and it's awesome to be a part of it.